I fractured my toe

On Thursday night, I was doing some intense reflecting.

I was feeling really tired.

Really overwhelmed.

Stretched by the responsibilities of motherhood.

Wishing for some solitude.

But, also realising that my fatigue was due to not having enough support.

Feeling quite despondent that I don't live in a community where there are people all around me, grannies, grandpas, uncles, aunties, like minded hippies.

A community where we help and support each other through all the inevitable ups and downs of our lives.

Reflecting on how as humanity, we have evolved so much economically and technologically.

But we have DEvolved as our society doesn't place enough value on things like family, community, the earth and simple living.

We are living isolated lives.

Mothers, fathers, burnt out.

Children, disconnected from their extended families.

This does not only apply to our family, which has moved to another country.

I see it all around me, even people who live in the same country, choose to live in different states, or far away from each other in the same city.

I realised that I long for this connection.

So maybe I don't want solitude.

I realised that I want SUPPORTED solitude.

Solitude where I can sit in nature, paint, draw, sew, read, whatever, without worrying about all my responsibilities.

Solitude with the knowledge that the children are being looked after and the meal is being made.

And I drew the picture you see here.

Well, it seems the Universe heard my longing.

On Friday morning, five years since my mom had her stroke and passed away (you can read about it here), a chair fell on my foot and fractured it.

I have been doing a lot of sitting since then.

Painful sitting.

But, nonetheless, sitting.

In my garden.

In the sun.

Sewing.

Painting.

Be careful what you wish for.

I have realised what a great marriage I have.

Sohail is seriously overwhelmed at work at the moment.

He is transitioning between roles, which brings with it inevitable extra work.

This has come at a very bad time for him.

But, he has simply said:

"You rest, I will cook, clean, shop, wash, look after the children, bake bread and in the evenings, I will catch up on my work."

Not a single complaint.

Just, love and support for his wife.

Who is in need of some sitting and receiving love and tea.

That is what strong relationships are about, carrying each other through the inevitable ups and downs of life. Not running away when it gets tough.

Having the knowledge that when we go into our deepest darkness, we come out much stronger and greater.

Shining bright with the light of support from our partner's support.

So many lessons here.

And so much gratitude.

And a very sore toe.

Blessings to you.