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Sunday, April 19, 2009

New life

A new life is starting soon for our family.
The arrival of the baby is filled with so many different emotions.

I worry so much about how Annie will adjust to this new little person.
I worry that I will not be able to give her all of me any more.
I feel so guilty already for not being present because I am always so tired.

And I know that I will be tired for a while to come.

I worry that my marriage will take strain.
I remember the strain it took when Annie was born.

We are already experiencing that strain because of the energy of this new life in our lives.

I am excited that this new life is going to take us on a journey.

I have such faith that all will be well.

In my moments of clarity, I feel so peaceful about all of it.

In my moments of madness, I feel completely overwhelmed.

Today, I feel overwhelmed.

5 comments:

  1. We will be happy together
    And we will be mad together

    I'm afraid that we are incessantly inherently convinced that we are sane
    A sure sign of sanity ...

    Through thick and thin my love
    We've made it this far and we don't need to look too far back to count the challenges that we have overcome together.

    This won't be any different.
    I promise.
    Because I know.

    I love you
    Me

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  2. Meant to say :"a sure sign of insanity" but iPhone disagreed...

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  3. I believe it is really important not to feel guilty for what you cannot give. 'Mother guilt' is a real issue that can be damaging to our sense of self. I think we have very high expectations of what we should give our children, and somehow always seem to fall short of those expectations. When from an outsiders perspective you are a loving, caring mother who is committed to making a loving relationship with your child's father. Everything else is icing.

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  4. Thank you for your beautiful words, Michelle. I really look up to you as a mom. You have reminded me to look at myself like I would a friend - I would cut my friend some slack!

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  5. I think I just fell in love with this blog. And also, you seem to have such wonderful support (based on the above comments). Lucky you =)

    My mom always said that the true sign of a good mother was one who worried to much. And even now that my sibs and I are all grown up and having babies of our own, she still gets a case of mom guilt periodically. Personally, I think that when you love your child(ren) and you provide for them to the best of your abilities, well, nobody could ever ask for more. I hope you can have as much faith in yourself as others have in you =)

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