As far back as I can remember.
I have been searching.
Looking for myself.
I am not sure that everyone is like this.
I am a seeker.
Always will be.
My friend tells me that if I say
I don't know who I am
It is a good thing.
It means that I am on the right path.
I don't know who I am.
Yet, I am not satisfied with this statement in this moment.
Perhaps the strains of motherhood are taking their toll.
I have lost the joy of just being.
I am broken open.
An empty shell inside.
I have always loved beautiful things.
I am so involved in the daily grind.
I struggle to see the beauty.
Of course reading this, I think I am absurd.
Look at all the beauty around you.
I just go through the motions.
I long for a moment of pampering.
Where someone is pressing my feet.
Massaging the tension away.
Wrapping me up in a warm, fluffy robe.
Serving me fresh, organic food.
And healing herbal tea.
Where I practice yoga on top of a mountain.
Where there are no demands on me.
Where I can sit with myself.
And no one else.
And have a peek into who I am once again.
We are part of a huge tapestry.
Every thread has a purpose.
I am but a single thread.
I am know that all is meant to be as it is.
So I walk through the discomfort of my life right now.
For it is so.
And that is how it should be.
In this moment.