Still fragile

Thank you for all the kind words about my brother.

All the support has eased my spirits.

I am still feeling very tender after what happened to him.

I can only imagine what he and my dad are feeling.

I wake up and the first image that comes into my head is of a gun pointed to my brother's head.

I feel like it has happened to me.

What this has made me realise is that even though I am building my life with my family in Australia, half my heart is in South Africa.

I do not feel complete.

I am a walking train wreck.

I am feeling truly unsettled.

Like the ground is no longer stable.

The practicalities of moving them over here loom inside my head.

The frustration of not being able to pick them up and just bring them here.

I am truly worried about their safety.

All the time.

But my spirits have been eased slightly today with the arrival of an early birthday present.

I have been lusting after a decent camera ever since I started this blog.

Looking at what people are able to do with their photos has inspired me.

It has also frustrated me.

My gorgeous little point and shoot only takes good photos during the day in really good natural light.

Considering that Melbourne is quite dark and rainy and I spend a fair bit of time indoors, it has not proven to be the best candidate for capturing the moments of my life in a beautiful and poetic way.

My Canon EOS arrived today.

Sohail has been playing around with it today.

I thought I would share one of the photos with you.

This was taken in a darkened room.

And has not been edited at all.

My point and shoot would not have been able to do this.

I am excited about the possibilities!