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Sunday, January 16, 2011

On manifesting and letting go

The gorgeous geisha I saw in the shop after yoga class. She just had to be mine. It must have been written in the stars for she was half price.
We have been pulling out lots of old files around here lately.
Lots of old love letters.
And photos.
And report cards.
This has brought up a lot of memories.

Some good.

A lot quite painful.

Sohail and I have been through a lot since we have been together.

University struggles.
Financial struggles.
Work struggles.
Family issues.
Moving houses.
Giving birth.
Post natal depression.
My mom passing away.
Moving to Australia.
Ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and landed me in emergency surgery within two months of landing here.
Adjusting to a new life.
Giving birth again.
Making friends.
Finding ourselves.

I realised that he is my rock.
He is my best friend.
He knows me like no one else does.
He is my partner on this spiritual path that I am on.
The path that I feel like no one else is on.
Because the stuff we say to each other.
No one else gets.

So I found myself quite sad.
For the struggles that we have been through.
And the realisation that it has actually only been just the two of us.
And that we actually feel quite lonely.

And I went to yoga on Saturday morning.
Feeling quite sad.
Knowing how many times Dru yoga has helped me to shift my stuff.

And I spent the whole class on the verge of tears.

And I cried at the end and I thanked my teacher for helping me to move the stuff.

Because I realised that I have to let it go.

And I felt confused.
Because I thought that all the spiritual work I have been doing has allowed me to let it go.

And then I had a soy chai with my new friend in yoga class.
And my yoga teacher.
Who is also my friend.

And we talked.

Like Sohail and I do.

And there they were.
Women in my life who speak my language.
Who speak about manifesting, owning our truth, creating our own reality, the mind body connection.

Stuff I talk to Sohail about all day.

But not to anyone else in my life.
Because it seems too out there for other people.

And then I told them that I had prayed for them
I had been praying for a community of women to support me.

It started with me finding some really amazing women through all the blogs I follow.
They are not physically in my life, but they speak my truth.

And then I found my South African friend who fills up my soul.

And now I have my yoga friends.

I have manifested them.

And my yoga teacher said that she had asked the universe for the same thing.
A new community.

And there we were.

And then she told me about the Chinese wheel.

Water feeds wood, wood feeds fire, fire feeds earth, earth feeds metal and metal feeds water once again.
A continuous cycle of life.

I am in the metal cycle.
The cycle of letting go of our stuff.
But we can't let go until we go through all the other elements.
And it all made so much sense.

I am letting go of everything that no longer serves me.
This includes all the old and unhappy stuff that is still somewhat part of my identity.

I am letting it all go so that I can move forward.

Into new experiences.

I felt like I could take over the world after that.
I am embracing letting go.
And realising the power of manifesting greatness and joy.

I hope that you manifest all of your heart's desires.
Blessings to you.

"Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage" - Anais Nin

9 comments:

  1. Wow - that was a biggie. Nice one. It's nice that you've blogged about this, you can always come back and see it again. When you out it down, it's amazing how much stuff we've been through in the past couple of years... And we have yet to get into our middle ages :)

    Here's to letting go to move forward
    Living a balanced and paced existence
    And discovering the new Olga coming into this existence

    I love my best friend
    Me

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  2. I found my way here through the Loving Path. These are really beautiful words. I understand when you write about needing a community and then finding a community. The meaning of community seems to have shifted slightly recently but still remains a community.

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  3. Ola...this is so beautiful. I love how you manifested your community. This gives me such hope that I might be able to do the same for myself. While I am so thankful for you and Tara (above) and all the other amazing mamas I have met through blogging, it is different to have that "in person" connection, don't you think? Not that my online friends are second rate - not at all.

    I'm so glad your husband is your best friend. Mine is too. I feel so lucky to have the one I love more than anything understand me. A blessed life we live. xo

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  4. What a beautiful place you are in and I'm so glad your prayers have been answered. You may be more out there than me, but I embrace you for it, and I'm sure I have a lot to learn from you.

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  5. What a beautiful and inspirational post for all of us to read. Thank you for your perspective.

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  6. lovely.

    the support of women is something i have only come to realise the need for in the last few years. it is something truly unique and special.

    the letting go part of the cycle is tough, but so rewarding.

    you life is abundant.... and i love your geisha!

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  7. beautiful words. not "too out there" at all!

    so wonderful that you can share this spiritual journey with your beloved. one's like that are hard to find.

    xo

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  8. Ola, that was beautiful. Good for you for finding people with whom you can really connect. I am struggling to find it myself; I almost feel too behind in life to really get out there and find friends.

    Thank you for sharing.

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  9. Dear Ola

    I am a dear friend of your yoga teachers and she directed me to your blog. Thank you for sharing words from your heart. If only we all spoke from the heart in all our conversations each day how the world would change.
    Your new community of women are all on an incredible journey together. I can see you all flying high together and supporting each other. Keep on soaring from your heart you are beautiful.

    With love from JM

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